So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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