my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
