i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
