I'm going to jail i love you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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