Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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