Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
