I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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