Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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