it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
