Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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