It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
