Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
