He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
