We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
