maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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