Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is my gift to your gina
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
