we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
