Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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