Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
