ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
