I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
