happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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