12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
