gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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