I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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