You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
