He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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