I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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