she was so not down for the gang bang
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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