he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
