If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
