I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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