So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
