you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
