I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
