I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
