Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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