then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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