Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
