So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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