in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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