I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
