Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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