so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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