i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
