Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
