so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
