He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
