Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
