just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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