question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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